Lent

I don't pay much attention to the other parts of the Church calendar, but for some reason I find Lent very intriguing and motivating. Forty days set aside for a kind of fasting. When I was younger it was something we made fun of, with all of our Catholic friends giving up brussels sprouts and cabbage as their act of sacrifice. But as I grew older and was introduced to some people who actually made use of the practice as a way of growing closer to God, I started to appreciate that perhaps our Church Fathers weren't as legalistically religious and as I was brought up to believe. Perhaps they saw some actual value in spending forty days with a constant physical reminder of our need for a saviour and in spending that time in closer communion with that Saviour.

And so I began the practice of giving up all sugar for Lent. I did that for three years running, and found it incredibly difficult, as I have the biggest sweet tooth known to man. I spent the first few days in agony watching every donut, every square of chocolate, every custard cream biscuit, every bit of ice cream pass through the lips of anyone around me, wanting to reach down their throats and grab it for myself. Gradually the cravings decreased until by day forty I had sworn off sugar forever since I was by then feeling full of energy, having gotten over the highs and lows of daily sugar intake. But by April I had given in to the urge for a taste, by summer ice cream was a staple in my diet, and Christmas brought a gorging on chocolates, cakes and cookies. As another Lent rolled around I vowed to give it up again, and the cycle started again. After Christmas this year I decided to pray for some self-control, having gained nearly ten pounds in America and by eating the cookies sent home by my mom and AJ. The weight is off, and for the first time in my life I feel able to eat chocolate as a once-in-a-while treat rather than as a daily indulgence. Three years of discipline followed by gluttony conclude with the grace of some answered prayer. Is that what Paul meant about working out my salvation?

This year I didn't feel the need to give up sweets, and so I struggled to think of something that would be both sacrificial and life-giving. I came up with sacrificing sleep. Not all sleep, but a little sleep in the morning. Rather than starting the day with the children dragging me out of bed despite my protests, I've decided to greet the day before the kids wake up and spend some time with God, with my own thoughts, with my iPod and running shoes. Anything to take charge of my day rather than letting it steamroll me. Here I am on day three, a bit groggy, but trusting that the Redeemer will take my small sacrifice and bring life.